This was first posted in Notes From the Cab about the time all the talk of "green jobs" was in vogue. I Still don't have a clue what a "green job" is. Do you? bartendercabbie.blogspot.com
I have been wondering lately what a "Green Job" is. It finally occurred to me that I once worked on a project that may well be what the government has in mind.
A few years ago I was bartending for a St Patrick's day event at a venue in downtown Houston and had to wear a silly green leprechaun hat. Of course we were serving green beer and Irish Whiskey. It must not have been that interesting as I had almost forgotten all about it. Apparently there were no "beaver shots" or anything of interest - that is the kind of thing that sort of helps one remember such events. It was not near as interesting as the event that I worked where I had to dress up as a cat. I have very little shame when it comes to making a buck. At any rate at that event I had to go to the back room to replenish my stock and walked in on a fellow employee (also dressed as a cat) being fellated by some bimbo. You see, that sort of thing sticks out in your mind. My "Green Job" paled in comparison to that.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Gay Male Vampire Comments on My Vampire Analysis
First published in Notes From The Cab 7/10. My original commentary on vampires caused quite a stir in the gay community apparently.
Not so long ago I wrote a small piece comparing the "modern" screen vampires with the original stated intent of trying to determine which vampire is indeed the best of the modern film era. This piece was written rather "tongue in cheek" (no pun intended toward any reader who happens to be gay), with the purpose being more to take a shot at Henry Waxman (D-CA) then to make a true honest comparison of screen vampires. Rather immature I know, but my immaturity runs deep. It helps me to see the humor in things I believe. Be that as it may, one must admit that Waxman does indeed look like one of the vampire/zombie beings in the Will Smith film I Am Legend. I defy anyone to say otherwise.
Now as my writing progressed I did indeed begin to think about the vampires of the recent screen era and did make a comparison. According to Sebastien of Gay Male Vampire, my analysis was rather poor and left out quite a good many vampires such as the ones featured on Buffy and Blade. I plead guilty. I am no expert on vampires, screen or otherwise, but I do enjoy a good vampire movie. One can not deny that Gary Oldman did an excellent job in Dracula and Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt were exceptional in Interview. Antonio Banderas did a great job also in that film. I also pointed out that the film could not have been more gay, and I stand by that statement. Sebastien (what a great name for a vampire) points out that all vampires are gay and I would have to agree with that. It does appear that vampires are very sexual beings and pretty flexible in their tastes. Now Sebastien does note that vampires are not evil in his piece and I would have to disagree with that. Vampires are evil and they are supposed to be evil. It is annoying to me personally to see a vampire have the human traits of conscience and empathy. It destroys the mystique, in my humble opinion. Louis of Interview and Bill in True Blood have just a bit too much humanity left in them to be effective. Now Bill regained his humanity through effort, but Louis' humanity is ingrained. Either way it is unbecoming a vampire. I suspect that is why I don't particularly care for Twighlight. I stand by my statement that Vampires should be both evil and beautiful to behold.
On a rather interesting note, Sebastien points out that there is an "adult" film that goes by the name of Twinklight. That is hilarious and follows the time honored tradition in which the adult film industry produces "take offs" of films from the "legitimate" film industry. Who can forget such names as Romancing the Bone, The Sopornos, the Rambone series, and others too numerous to mention.
Now I checked out gaymalevampire.com and it is not my thing to be sure, but to each his own. If one is so inclined as to have an interest in "gay male vampires" then I would suspect that this site is the place to go.
Not so long ago I wrote a small piece comparing the "modern" screen vampires with the original stated intent of trying to determine which vampire is indeed the best of the modern film era. This piece was written rather "tongue in cheek" (no pun intended toward any reader who happens to be gay), with the purpose being more to take a shot at Henry Waxman (D-CA) then to make a true honest comparison of screen vampires. Rather immature I know, but my immaturity runs deep. It helps me to see the humor in things I believe. Be that as it may, one must admit that Waxman does indeed look like one of the vampire/zombie beings in the Will Smith film I Am Legend. I defy anyone to say otherwise.
Now as my writing progressed I did indeed begin to think about the vampires of the recent screen era and did make a comparison. According to Sebastien of Gay Male Vampire, my analysis was rather poor and left out quite a good many vampires such as the ones featured on Buffy and Blade. I plead guilty. I am no expert on vampires, screen or otherwise, but I do enjoy a good vampire movie. One can not deny that Gary Oldman did an excellent job in Dracula and Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt were exceptional in Interview. Antonio Banderas did a great job also in that film. I also pointed out that the film could not have been more gay, and I stand by that statement. Sebastien (what a great name for a vampire) points out that all vampires are gay and I would have to agree with that. It does appear that vampires are very sexual beings and pretty flexible in their tastes. Now Sebastien does note that vampires are not evil in his piece and I would have to disagree with that. Vampires are evil and they are supposed to be evil. It is annoying to me personally to see a vampire have the human traits of conscience and empathy. It destroys the mystique, in my humble opinion. Louis of Interview and Bill in True Blood have just a bit too much humanity left in them to be effective. Now Bill regained his humanity through effort, but Louis' humanity is ingrained. Either way it is unbecoming a vampire. I suspect that is why I don't particularly care for Twighlight. I stand by my statement that Vampires should be both evil and beautiful to behold.
On a rather interesting note, Sebastien points out that there is an "adult" film that goes by the name of Twinklight. That is hilarious and follows the time honored tradition in which the adult film industry produces "take offs" of films from the "legitimate" film industry. Who can forget such names as Romancing the Bone, The Sopornos, the Rambone series, and others too numerous to mention.
Now I checked out gaymalevampire.com and it is not my thing to be sure, but to each his own. If one is so inclined as to have an interest in "gay male vampires" then I would suspect that this site is the place to go.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Which Screen Vampire is Best
First published in July 2010 in Notes from the Cab. bartendercabbie.blogspot.com
There is a good deal of controversy on which of the modern era film vampires are the best, or the most cool as it were. Let us discuss this and attempt to lay this issue to rest once and for all.
I truly doubt that we will come to any agreeable conclusion however. I am sure there will be no consensus. but we must try.
The "Twilight" series of movies are pretty good with beautiful scenery, cinematography, and soundtrack. The story lines are fairly compelling and they are just plain good movies. The Cullen family of vampires are good looking, intelligent and dangerous - as vampires must be, but there is an issue that may keep them from earning the title of best film vampires. The are just not evil. In addition to the above characteristics a vampire must above all be vicious and evil. The Cullen's do not fit the bill unfortunately. Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), the male lead, is just not evil and in fact seems to have a problem with the creature that he is. There is self loathing and a disturbing "human conscience" apparent that detracts somewhat from the film. One exception is the "hunter" James, played to perfection by the young actor Cam Gigandet. His character is evil, vicious and frighteningly malicious. The way a vampire should be. These vampires score high on looks and intelligence but low on the fear factor. One good thing about these movies though is that there are werewolves running about which brings up a very important question. Would you rather be a werewolf or a vampire? A question to explore another time perhaps.
The HBO series "True Blood" is also a very good set of films. Most of the vampires are as vicious and evil as they should be. Perhaps the best the best may be the vampire Eric played to perfection by Alexander Skarsgard. He is good looking, although he looked better with long hair, vicious, utterly without conscience, and exceptionally intelligent. Kristin Bauer does an excellent job with her character, the vampire Pam. A bit player Zeljko Ivanek, plays "The Magister," a vampire that is truly frightening. These characters are so compellingly evil that one gets the feeling that if they were real creatures, they would need to be exterminated with extreme prejudice. Now with that being said, there is a flaw. The Vampire Bill in the series has the same type of self loathing that is noticed in the Edward Cullen character in "Twilight." Now Bill, in an earlier incarnation, was as vicious and evil as they come. We are treated to this in some of his memories that are vicious to the extreme. His current lack of sociopathology however is unbecoming a vampire. The vampires in this series score extremely high on looks, intelligence and viciousness but Vampire Bill's soft side does bring them down somewhat. One thing that is interesting in these films is that the people of northern Louisiana and southern Arkansas tend to call them "vampurs." I like that. Are these the best screen vampires? A case can certainly be made.
The film "An Interview with the Vampire," based on the Anne Rice novel by the same name is an excellent movie. It has an all star cast including Tom Cruise (Lestat) Brad Pitt (Louis), Kirsten Dunst (Claudia), and Antonio Banderas (Armand). These vampires are intelligent to the point of being intellectual (with the exception of Lestat), beautiful, and vicious in the cases of Lestat and the Machiavellian Claudia. Louis, however is lacking the evil gene apparently. There is something missing there that works in the film, but is disturbing none the less. It is hard to pinpoint Armand. Is he hiding his vicious nature in order to win the affection of Louis (that is what it is, let us be honest)? One gets the impression that he is indeed holding back. A clue to his evil nature is in the fact that he allowed the "background" vampires to kill Claudia and her new immortal "mother." (The "mother" was made by Louis much to his agony. Pathetic attitude for a perfect predator don't you think?) Another clue to Armand's true nature is that he let Louis burn the other vampires "alive" without warning them. Intuitive Louis knows this and leaves Armand, at the alter if you will. This film could not have been more gay, but that beside the point. The question is are these vampires the best in the modern film era? A case can be made for this, but also a case can certainly be made to the contrary. These vampires score medium to high on intelligence, high on good looks and the fear factor is moderate to high.
"Dracula (1992) is another vampire story with an all star cast. The extremely talented and also highly under rated Gary Oldman plays the role of Dracula. Anthony Hopkins, Keanu Reeves, Carey Elwes, and Winona Ryder round out the best known players. The only vampire in the film is of course Oldman (Dracula) and he is an extremely talented actor. (One of his best films was "State of Grace" with Sean Penn, Ed Harris and a then up and coming John C Reilly). Of course Anthony Hopkins is a preeminent actor and Winona Ryder and Carey Elwes can hold there own. Now Keanu Reeves does a commendable job with his part as it is mostly done in a monotone. Any part with more emotion or realism than that certainly stretches Reeves' ability. He near ruined the otherwise exceptional "Devil's Advocate." Be that as it may, the film is quite good and well worth watching. But that is not the question is it? The answer to the real question is hard to gauge. Oldman does a wonderful job with his part, but his character has some human emotion that of course works in the movie, but is still unbecoming a vampire. There is no doubt that he is vicious and evil but his infatuation with Winona Ryder is somehow "unvampirelike." This vampire scores high on the looks (at least in the young Dracula incarnation), and intelligence but falls off somewhat on the vicious scale. However a case can still be made for Dracula being the best film vampire.
A while back there was a Will Smith film called "I Am Legend" This was a very good movie and "vampires" were in abundance. Now the problem is that these are not classic vampires. In the Anne Rice novel "An Interview with the Vampire" there were some vampire like creatures that Louis and Claudia encountered in eastern Europe in their quest to find "others of their kind." This was not part of the movie but in Rice's novel only. These were not true vampires but something related that were more akin to zombie's. Sort of a vampire/zombie combination if you will. The vampires in the Will Smith film were of this type it seems. Funny thing about this though, some of these vampire/zombie creatures have a distinct likeness to Handsome Henry Waxman(D-CA.). Now that is indeed disturbing.
There is a good deal of controversy on which of the modern era film vampires are the best, or the most cool as it were. Let us discuss this and attempt to lay this issue to rest once and for all.
I truly doubt that we will come to any agreeable conclusion however. I am sure there will be no consensus. but we must try.
The "Twilight" series of movies are pretty good with beautiful scenery, cinematography, and soundtrack. The story lines are fairly compelling and they are just plain good movies. The Cullen family of vampires are good looking, intelligent and dangerous - as vampires must be, but there is an issue that may keep them from earning the title of best film vampires. The are just not evil. In addition to the above characteristics a vampire must above all be vicious and evil. The Cullen's do not fit the bill unfortunately. Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), the male lead, is just not evil and in fact seems to have a problem with the creature that he is. There is self loathing and a disturbing "human conscience" apparent that detracts somewhat from the film. One exception is the "hunter" James, played to perfection by the young actor Cam Gigandet. His character is evil, vicious and frighteningly malicious. The way a vampire should be. These vampires score high on looks and intelligence but low on the fear factor. One good thing about these movies though is that there are werewolves running about which brings up a very important question. Would you rather be a werewolf or a vampire? A question to explore another time perhaps.
The HBO series "True Blood" is also a very good set of films. Most of the vampires are as vicious and evil as they should be. Perhaps the best the best may be the vampire Eric played to perfection by Alexander Skarsgard. He is good looking, although he looked better with long hair, vicious, utterly without conscience, and exceptionally intelligent. Kristin Bauer does an excellent job with her character, the vampire Pam. A bit player Zeljko Ivanek, plays "The Magister," a vampire that is truly frightening. These characters are so compellingly evil that one gets the feeling that if they were real creatures, they would need to be exterminated with extreme prejudice. Now with that being said, there is a flaw. The Vampire Bill in the series has the same type of self loathing that is noticed in the Edward Cullen character in "Twilight." Now Bill, in an earlier incarnation, was as vicious and evil as they come. We are treated to this in some of his memories that are vicious to the extreme. His current lack of sociopathology however is unbecoming a vampire. The vampires in this series score extremely high on looks, intelligence and viciousness but Vampire Bill's soft side does bring them down somewhat. One thing that is interesting in these films is that the people of northern Louisiana and southern Arkansas tend to call them "vampurs." I like that. Are these the best screen vampires? A case can certainly be made.
The film "An Interview with the Vampire," based on the Anne Rice novel by the same name is an excellent movie. It has an all star cast including Tom Cruise (Lestat) Brad Pitt (Louis), Kirsten Dunst (Claudia), and Antonio Banderas (Armand). These vampires are intelligent to the point of being intellectual (with the exception of Lestat), beautiful, and vicious in the cases of Lestat and the Machiavellian Claudia. Louis, however is lacking the evil gene apparently. There is something missing there that works in the film, but is disturbing none the less. It is hard to pinpoint Armand. Is he hiding his vicious nature in order to win the affection of Louis (that is what it is, let us be honest)? One gets the impression that he is indeed holding back. A clue to his evil nature is in the fact that he allowed the "background" vampires to kill Claudia and her new immortal "mother." (The "mother" was made by Louis much to his agony. Pathetic attitude for a perfect predator don't you think?) Another clue to Armand's true nature is that he let Louis burn the other vampires "alive" without warning them. Intuitive Louis knows this and leaves Armand, at the alter if you will. This film could not have been more gay, but that beside the point. The question is are these vampires the best in the modern film era? A case can be made for this, but also a case can certainly be made to the contrary. These vampires score medium to high on intelligence, high on good looks and the fear factor is moderate to high.
"Dracula (1992) is another vampire story with an all star cast. The extremely talented and also highly under rated Gary Oldman plays the role of Dracula. Anthony Hopkins, Keanu Reeves, Carey Elwes, and Winona Ryder round out the best known players. The only vampire in the film is of course Oldman (Dracula) and he is an extremely talented actor. (One of his best films was "State of Grace" with Sean Penn, Ed Harris and a then up and coming John C Reilly). Of course Anthony Hopkins is a preeminent actor and Winona Ryder and Carey Elwes can hold there own. Now Keanu Reeves does a commendable job with his part as it is mostly done in a monotone. Any part with more emotion or realism than that certainly stretches Reeves' ability. He near ruined the otherwise exceptional "Devil's Advocate." Be that as it may, the film is quite good and well worth watching. But that is not the question is it? The answer to the real question is hard to gauge. Oldman does a wonderful job with his part, but his character has some human emotion that of course works in the movie, but is still unbecoming a vampire. There is no doubt that he is vicious and evil but his infatuation with Winona Ryder is somehow "unvampirelike." This vampire scores high on the looks (at least in the young Dracula incarnation), and intelligence but falls off somewhat on the vicious scale. However a case can still be made for Dracula being the best film vampire.
A while back there was a Will Smith film called "I Am Legend" This was a very good movie and "vampires" were in abundance. Now the problem is that these are not classic vampires. In the Anne Rice novel "An Interview with the Vampire" there were some vampire like creatures that Louis and Claudia encountered in eastern Europe in their quest to find "others of their kind." This was not part of the movie but in Rice's novel only. These were not true vampires but something related that were more akin to zombie's. Sort of a vampire/zombie combination if you will. The vampires in the Will Smith film were of this type it seems. Funny thing about this though, some of these vampire/zombie creatures have a distinct likeness to Handsome Henry Waxman(D-CA.). Now that is indeed disturbing.
Oh Vey Circumcision to be Outlawed
Posted in Notes from the Cab in Dec 2010. bartendercabbie.blogspot.com
Well I had to go into Houston after work this afternoon to tend to a bit of business and came upon an interesting billboard. Now I did not have time to sit and look at the entire message as I was in brutal traffic moving at a quick pace, but the gist seems to be that circumcision hurts and is cruel. This may be true but I don't remember it. Do you? You see I am sure this is some advertisement from a group of "do gooders" that would love nothing more than to mandate that all males be anteaters instead of helmets. I have spoken of the problems that "do gooders" can (and have) caused society in the past. Nothing and I mean nothing can convince a "do gooder" to leave things well enough alone. They are on a mission. They are convinced of their righteousness, and of course, most are stark raving mad. I think the whole circumcision thing should be left to up to the family of the child. The whole thing reminds of something funny. Quite a few years back, while serving in the USCG, I knew of a guy who apparently kept having some kind of wing wong problem. He was not circumcised and apparently the Naval medical staff decided that a circumcision was in order. Well the procedure was performed and when he got back to the ship he swore up and down that part of his dong had been amputated. True story. Scouts honor. I don't know for sure if he was playing it up or really and truly believed such, but the long and short of the matter is that he had to be discharged from service. Probably he was running a scam but perhaps, just perhaps, they did lop off a bit of his wang. It was the early 80's after all and we are talking about military medicine.....
Well I had to go into Houston after work this afternoon to tend to a bit of business and came upon an interesting billboard. Now I did not have time to sit and look at the entire message as I was in brutal traffic moving at a quick pace, but the gist seems to be that circumcision hurts and is cruel. This may be true but I don't remember it. Do you? You see I am sure this is some advertisement from a group of "do gooders" that would love nothing more than to mandate that all males be anteaters instead of helmets. I have spoken of the problems that "do gooders" can (and have) caused society in the past. Nothing and I mean nothing can convince a "do gooder" to leave things well enough alone. They are on a mission. They are convinced of their righteousness, and of course, most are stark raving mad. I think the whole circumcision thing should be left to up to the family of the child. The whole thing reminds of something funny. Quite a few years back, while serving in the USCG, I knew of a guy who apparently kept having some kind of wing wong problem. He was not circumcised and apparently the Naval medical staff decided that a circumcision was in order. Well the procedure was performed and when he got back to the ship he swore up and down that part of his dong had been amputated. True story. Scouts honor. I don't know for sure if he was playing it up or really and truly believed such, but the long and short of the matter is that he had to be discharged from service. Probably he was running a scam but perhaps, just perhaps, they did lop off a bit of his wang. It was the early 80's after all and we are talking about military medicine.....
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Live Blogging From the Location of the Real Weather Story
This was published in Notes From The Cab in August 2011. It was so hot it was almost unbelievable.
bartendercabbie.blogspot.com
Let me preface this little rant by saying that they dodged a bullet up there in the NE. Very lucky indeed they are. There is some damage and unfortunately a few people lost their lives and this is indeed a tragedy. It could have been a heck of a lot worse. Can you imagine a Cat 3 or 4 running through the region? That would have been devastating. Thankfully the "scientists" were wrong again and this will not turn out to be the "storm of the century." At least they got the track right. This usually does not happen. It was also well that the political leadership in the region advised people to leave the immediate impact areas. One of these storms can go from a minor tropical event to a major storm in a relatively short time period and vice versa. Thankfully the "vice versa" was the order of the day here.
Yesterday I was at a grocery store and came back to a temp reading on the car thermometer of 116 degrees. Have not seen that one before. Of course the temp dropped as I left the lot and got on the road to a very comfortable 105. It is hot here in the Republic and that is the real story. Just the loss of agricultural products alone is a huge cost. It would be nice if Irene had come ashore along the Texas shore somewhere. We could use the rain while the NE is over saturated.
You know, come to think of it, that Dumbass Sheila Jackson Lee said we need to name some storms that sound a bit more ethnic. I have always thought that Aquanetta has a nice ring to it.
Yep it is hot here. Hot as a bastard as they say. I have often wondered just who this bastard is. Do I want to meet him or not? It seems he is always hot or cold and always seems to be in some sort of pain. The other day I dropped a snare drum on my foot and it sure hurt like a bastard I can tell you. One thing this bastard is not though is fine. I have never heard someone say "she is fine as a bastard." Usually they refer to the mofo when discussing this type thing. Apparently this mofo is also in pain quite often though. I guess I am not sure really if the pain in my foot hurt more like a mofo or a bastard. Just can't say for certain. I can also remember being drunk as a mofo a number of times. Apparently a mofo likes to tie one on. Here and there as the case may be.
bartendercabbie.blogspot.com
Let me preface this little rant by saying that they dodged a bullet up there in the NE. Very lucky indeed they are. There is some damage and unfortunately a few people lost their lives and this is indeed a tragedy. It could have been a heck of a lot worse. Can you imagine a Cat 3 or 4 running through the region? That would have been devastating. Thankfully the "scientists" were wrong again and this will not turn out to be the "storm of the century." At least they got the track right. This usually does not happen. It was also well that the political leadership in the region advised people to leave the immediate impact areas. One of these storms can go from a minor tropical event to a major storm in a relatively short time period and vice versa. Thankfully the "vice versa" was the order of the day here.
Yesterday I was at a grocery store and came back to a temp reading on the car thermometer of 116 degrees. Have not seen that one before. Of course the temp dropped as I left the lot and got on the road to a very comfortable 105. It is hot here in the Republic and that is the real story. Just the loss of agricultural products alone is a huge cost. It would be nice if Irene had come ashore along the Texas shore somewhere. We could use the rain while the NE is over saturated.
You know, come to think of it, that Dumbass Sheila Jackson Lee said we need to name some storms that sound a bit more ethnic. I have always thought that Aquanetta has a nice ring to it.
Yep it is hot here. Hot as a bastard as they say. I have often wondered just who this bastard is. Do I want to meet him or not? It seems he is always hot or cold and always seems to be in some sort of pain. The other day I dropped a snare drum on my foot and it sure hurt like a bastard I can tell you. One thing this bastard is not though is fine. I have never heard someone say "she is fine as a bastard." Usually they refer to the mofo when discussing this type thing. Apparently this mofo is also in pain quite often though. I guess I am not sure really if the pain in my foot hurt more like a mofo or a bastard. Just can't say for certain. I can also remember being drunk as a mofo a number of times. Apparently a mofo likes to tie one on. Here and there as the case may be.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Celebrity Does Not Make One Special
This was written in Notes From the Cab in 12/2009. bartendercabbie.blogspot.com
I do a little bartending (and cab driving) in the Houston area and it being the large city that it is and I, being damn good at my job (Toot!, Toot!), have worked my fair share of events that cater to the celebrity crowd. I have had some good experiences and bad. Just because one finds themselves in the public eye, does not mean that they are any better (and often worse)than anyone else. I will name names here so read on brother.
A few years ago the NBA All Star game came to town along with all of the broohaha associated with it. I worked a number of the events including the rookie game, a private party or two and the gigantic NBA after party. I actually did not work the All Star Game as I was assigned to the party afterward. Here are some recollections of the event.
The after party was extremely busy with literally thousands of people at the event and everyone doing there level best to get drunk as hell. This truly reminded me of the Tom Cruise movie "Cocktail." It was that insane. At one point some guy broke in front of other people in line and informed my that "Steve Francis and his crew wanted a bottle of Cristal. His "crew?" I was not aware that Steve Francis was a river boat captain. To be honest, this occurred a few years ago and the guy might have used the term "posse." If so I would imagine that the only posse this thug belonged to was not going to mount up and chase bad guys anytime soon. Perhaps his posse was more adept at hunting bimbos in the club (with a bottle full of bub, look mami I got the X if you into takin drugs). You get the picture? Another thing I remember is the MC kept hollering "Jamie Fox is in the house" over and over. It was earsplitting. One thing I did notice was Magic Johnson standing in line in my partners station just like everyone else. An NBA Hall of Fame player who had the class and decency to wait his turn just like regular folk. He is from the old school no doubt. Contrast that with Steve Francis' representative demanding Cristal. Anyway it was my distinct pleasure to tell him that the Cristal was sold only at a booth completely across the venue.
At another NBA game I was assigned to the suite that Yao Ming's parents had for the night. They seemed like very reserved and nice people. But there were some things going on there that I found really disturbing. Now there was nobody being rude or demanding, quite the contrary, everyone was exceedingly polite. Here is where it begins to get a bit disturbing. There were some businessmen and hangers on obviously from Red China along with some oily, perpetually smiling, little guys who were obviously agents of the government (PRC). There is after all a Red Chinese consulate on Montrose Street in Houston. Here is where it gets really problematic (for me as an American) - There were quite a few other Americans (obviously business types looking to score something or other) who were scraping and bowing to our guests from the Peoples Republic. There was one guy who apparently had some kind of basketball shoe to sell and was lobbying to have them made in China. He was bowing to these government types so low that I was afraid he would end up with one's joint in his mouth. I doubt that would have bothered him much come to think of it. Well I did my job professionally, politely and competently but I did not bow to anyone. As an American I will bow to no man. Especially not in my own country. I am really very surprised that I was not given some kind of heads up from Toyota Center management that I was supposed to bow or something. I would have refused the job and gone home. Hmmmm. Why does our President find the need to kowtow and bow to Mohammedans and others when he is overseas? We don't bowto anyone! Period! It is our culture.
Well there is a sports writer here in Houston named John Mclain and though he really does not classify as a celebrity (I guess) he thinks himself one I am sure. In 2003 I believe it was, Houston hosted the Super Bowl now more remembered for the famous "wardrobe malfunction" than the actual game (Carolina vs New England). At any rate I bartended at a few of those parties and it was "Cocktail" all over again. The last Super Bowl event was the "after party" that catered mostly to journalists and their ilk. It was pretty damn busy but kind of lame none the less. I met a real cool guy from El Paso who was a firefighter by trade and a sideline photographer in his other gig. What a cool job. I wonder how he worked his way into that one. Anyway toward the end of the evening John Mclain staggered up at the bar next to me and wanted some drink or other that the bartender was out of. He got kind of belligerent and let loose with the "do you know who I am" thing. Of course the bartender had no clue, but I did. Anyone who listens to sports talk radio can't mistake that gravelly whiskey voice. I clued the bartender in on who just left his bar (after he finally left) and the guy said something to the effect of "I don't care who he is. That guy is a f....... a..hole. " I couldn't agree more. He chalked himself up in my book to what the sports world obviously already knows he is: An Ass!! Perhaps John is just trying to live up to the image of the hard drinking sports writer. That is all well and good I suppose, but he should try to handle his liquor a little better. You are not in high school John. Knowing what I know about John, I am sure that since the Super Bowl was in Houston and he is based out of here, he probably felt that he was the Prince of the Game. Did I mention that he is might be an egomaniac?
Here is where the story of Mclain gets even funnier. Now I did not have this happen to me and did not witness it but it was told to me by some cabbie a few years back and I chose to believe it. This guy, I don't know his name unfortunately, told me that he had Mclain in his cab and he pulled the same "do you know who I am stunt." Of course Mclain was allegedly hammered at the time. If this alleged incident would have happened to me, I would have pulled over and let him out of the car be it in front of a police station or crack house. Been my pleasure to do so.
I met a good many sports celebrities during that Super Bowl and was treated nice by each and every on of them. Had a conversation with Buddy Ryan and met the then Pats kicker Adam V. Seemed like good guys. Incidentally Adam cost me 2000 bucks in another Super Bowl a couple of years back when he missed a chip shot field goal with time running out in the first half. I was in a 100 buck a square office pool and a field goal would have netted me two grand. He missed it of course. I haven't forgiven him for that yet.
I have bartended for Jesse Jackson and found him interesting. He disappeared at one point in this big mansion type place called the Parador at the intersection of Almeda and Binz in Houston and there was wild speculation on where he went. Maybe found him a hottie was the going bet. At the same party I served Rep Sheila Jackson Lee and found her rude and arrogant. That is nothing unexpected however. She wasn't at my bar long enough for me to additionally classify her as stupid but she has since proven that to be the case. She also might be an egomaniac.
The list goes on and on with celebrities of politics, screen and sports that I have served in my career as a bartender. Most seem just like regular folk but when there are exceptions they sure stand out.
I almost forgot. In my cab I once chauffeured around a woman for hours that told me she was porn star Isis Nile. I thought her full of crap, but later looked it up on the internet and there she was in all her glory. She gave me a kiss on the forehead as I finally dropped her off after a night of partying and I bet I could have got me a little of that. Would have tried if I was a single man. Just to say I did it!
I do a little bartending (and cab driving) in the Houston area and it being the large city that it is and I, being damn good at my job (Toot!, Toot!), have worked my fair share of events that cater to the celebrity crowd. I have had some good experiences and bad. Just because one finds themselves in the public eye, does not mean that they are any better (and often worse)than anyone else. I will name names here so read on brother.
A few years ago the NBA All Star game came to town along with all of the broohaha associated with it. I worked a number of the events including the rookie game, a private party or two and the gigantic NBA after party. I actually did not work the All Star Game as I was assigned to the party afterward. Here are some recollections of the event.
The after party was extremely busy with literally thousands of people at the event and everyone doing there level best to get drunk as hell. This truly reminded me of the Tom Cruise movie "Cocktail." It was that insane. At one point some guy broke in front of other people in line and informed my that "Steve Francis and his crew wanted a bottle of Cristal. His "crew?" I was not aware that Steve Francis was a river boat captain. To be honest, this occurred a few years ago and the guy might have used the term "posse." If so I would imagine that the only posse this thug belonged to was not going to mount up and chase bad guys anytime soon. Perhaps his posse was more adept at hunting bimbos in the club (with a bottle full of bub, look mami I got the X if you into takin drugs). You get the picture? Another thing I remember is the MC kept hollering "Jamie Fox is in the house" over and over. It was earsplitting. One thing I did notice was Magic Johnson standing in line in my partners station just like everyone else. An NBA Hall of Fame player who had the class and decency to wait his turn just like regular folk. He is from the old school no doubt. Contrast that with Steve Francis' representative demanding Cristal. Anyway it was my distinct pleasure to tell him that the Cristal was sold only at a booth completely across the venue.
At another NBA game I was assigned to the suite that Yao Ming's parents had for the night. They seemed like very reserved and nice people. But there were some things going on there that I found really disturbing. Now there was nobody being rude or demanding, quite the contrary, everyone was exceedingly polite. Here is where it begins to get a bit disturbing. There were some businessmen and hangers on obviously from Red China along with some oily, perpetually smiling, little guys who were obviously agents of the government (PRC). There is after all a Red Chinese consulate on Montrose Street in Houston. Here is where it gets really problematic (for me as an American) - There were quite a few other Americans (obviously business types looking to score something or other) who were scraping and bowing to our guests from the Peoples Republic. There was one guy who apparently had some kind of basketball shoe to sell and was lobbying to have them made in China. He was bowing to these government types so low that I was afraid he would end up with one's joint in his mouth. I doubt that would have bothered him much come to think of it. Well I did my job professionally, politely and competently but I did not bow to anyone. As an American I will bow to no man. Especially not in my own country. I am really very surprised that I was not given some kind of heads up from Toyota Center management that I was supposed to bow or something. I would have refused the job and gone home. Hmmmm. Why does our President find the need to kowtow and bow to Mohammedans and others when he is overseas? We don't bowto anyone! Period! It is our culture.
Well there is a sports writer here in Houston named John Mclain and though he really does not classify as a celebrity (I guess) he thinks himself one I am sure. In 2003 I believe it was, Houston hosted the Super Bowl now more remembered for the famous "wardrobe malfunction" than the actual game (Carolina vs New England). At any rate I bartended at a few of those parties and it was "Cocktail" all over again. The last Super Bowl event was the "after party" that catered mostly to journalists and their ilk. It was pretty damn busy but kind of lame none the less. I met a real cool guy from El Paso who was a firefighter by trade and a sideline photographer in his other gig. What a cool job. I wonder how he worked his way into that one. Anyway toward the end of the evening John Mclain staggered up at the bar next to me and wanted some drink or other that the bartender was out of. He got kind of belligerent and let loose with the "do you know who I am" thing. Of course the bartender had no clue, but I did. Anyone who listens to sports talk radio can't mistake that gravelly whiskey voice. I clued the bartender in on who just left his bar (after he finally left) and the guy said something to the effect of "I don't care who he is. That guy is a f....... a..hole. " I couldn't agree more. He chalked himself up in my book to what the sports world obviously already knows he is: An Ass!! Perhaps John is just trying to live up to the image of the hard drinking sports writer. That is all well and good I suppose, but he should try to handle his liquor a little better. You are not in high school John. Knowing what I know about John, I am sure that since the Super Bowl was in Houston and he is based out of here, he probably felt that he was the Prince of the Game. Did I mention that he is might be an egomaniac?
Here is where the story of Mclain gets even funnier. Now I did not have this happen to me and did not witness it but it was told to me by some cabbie a few years back and I chose to believe it. This guy, I don't know his name unfortunately, told me that he had Mclain in his cab and he pulled the same "do you know who I am stunt." Of course Mclain was allegedly hammered at the time. If this alleged incident would have happened to me, I would have pulled over and let him out of the car be it in front of a police station or crack house. Been my pleasure to do so.
I met a good many sports celebrities during that Super Bowl and was treated nice by each and every on of them. Had a conversation with Buddy Ryan and met the then Pats kicker Adam V. Seemed like good guys. Incidentally Adam cost me 2000 bucks in another Super Bowl a couple of years back when he missed a chip shot field goal with time running out in the first half. I was in a 100 buck a square office pool and a field goal would have netted me two grand. He missed it of course. I haven't forgiven him for that yet.
I have bartended for Jesse Jackson and found him interesting. He disappeared at one point in this big mansion type place called the Parador at the intersection of Almeda and Binz in Houston and there was wild speculation on where he went. Maybe found him a hottie was the going bet. At the same party I served Rep Sheila Jackson Lee and found her rude and arrogant. That is nothing unexpected however. She wasn't at my bar long enough for me to additionally classify her as stupid but she has since proven that to be the case. She also might be an egomaniac.
The list goes on and on with celebrities of politics, screen and sports that I have served in my career as a bartender. Most seem just like regular folk but when there are exceptions they sure stand out.
I almost forgot. In my cab I once chauffeured around a woman for hours that told me she was porn star Isis Nile. I thought her full of crap, but later looked it up on the internet and there she was in all her glory. She gave me a kiss on the forehead as I finally dropped her off after a night of partying and I bet I could have got me a little of that. Would have tried if I was a single man. Just to say I did it!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Resisting the Lure of the Cab
This was posted in November 2010 in Notes From The Cab. I still sometimes miss the taxi business.
bartendercabbie.blogspot.com
As I noted in an earlier post I have given up the Taxi business in the Houston area. My license is now expired and barring a complete personal financial meltdown, I have no intention of renewing it. I must admit however that I have been feeling the "lure of the cab" this week. This week, barring Thanksgiving Day itself, is one of the most profitable weeks in the biz. People are traveling, kids are at the clubs, and folks are starting to shop for Xmas. There are people to meet, money to make, and adventures to have and I am missing out. Been "Jonesing" a bit for the cab this week as some old dopers like to say. It is like quitting smoking I suppose. Stay away from it and eventually the urge will subside. I don't think it will ever totally go away though. Funny how things can get in your blood. I must stay strong. By God!
bartendercabbie.blogspot.com
As I noted in an earlier post I have given up the Taxi business in the Houston area. My license is now expired and barring a complete personal financial meltdown, I have no intention of renewing it. I must admit however that I have been feeling the "lure of the cab" this week. This week, barring Thanksgiving Day itself, is one of the most profitable weeks in the biz. People are traveling, kids are at the clubs, and folks are starting to shop for Xmas. There are people to meet, money to make, and adventures to have and I am missing out. Been "Jonesing" a bit for the cab this week as some old dopers like to say. It is like quitting smoking I suppose. Stay away from it and eventually the urge will subside. I don't think it will ever totally go away though. Funny how things can get in your blood. I must stay strong. By God!
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